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Masked Bastard
The Arch Bishop is the general overseer of the Church of Fatherless Time and a source of inspiration for all people. He is known to his acquaintances and his rivals as “Masked Bastard”, “The Bastard” or just “Mask” for short. This nickname started off as a joke between his fellow Bishops and caught on when enemies of the Church learned that the Arch Bishop doesn’t have an earthly father. He wears a metal mask that he refers to as his “faceplate” and he never allows his true face to be seen by anyone. The metal mask is fixed firmly on his skull by unearthly means, leading many to believe that he is not of this world and is possibly an alien of some type. __TOC__ Early Life Very little is known about the Arch Bishop, except a few things. The Arch Bishop claims he was created in a laboratory by a celestial entity only known as “the Cardinal”. His creation broke several interstellar laws and the Cardinal was banished from his home realm. The Arch Bishop, however, was sent to the realm of mortal men—earth—with a book known as the Scared Lumi-Visian Writ, or the “Book of Bastard”. Within this extraterrestrial bible were instructions on how to build the Church of Fatherless Time and how to run it. He has no memories of his childhood and only knows that his mother’s name was Alema and that she was once a beauty pageant contestant. The Arch Bishop also claims that he’s been in contact with a group of aliens called Anonymous, sent by three celestial Light Sages to give him guidance and warnings as he recruits officers (Bishops) for the Church. He also has a fraternal twin sister named Bianca. Other than that, he doesn't know much about his childhood or his young adult years. Function as a Missionary Finding Sarai According to the Book of Bastard, the Arch Bishop’s mission is to find a young woman named “Sarai” and bring her into the Church. Sarai’s role is very important, for she will one day give birth to what the Light Sages refer to as the “Information Network Messiah”. The Arch Bishop translated this term into the “Saviour of the Internet”. It was foretold by the Light Sages that the leader of the Church himself would select the man to father this special child for “Sarai”. But, it is written that whoever fathers the child with “Sarai” is doomed to die by her hand. The Arch Bishop wants to make certain that nobody in his Congregation will attempt to sleep with “Sarai” when he finds her. Keeping the Promise Upon meeting Sadie, the Arch Bishop was secretly infatuated and aroused by her. But he kept silent his desires for her and became a father figure to her and a close friend to Sadie during her initial months in the Congregation. He is heart and mind he knew that he’d found the Mother of the Internet Saviour. Now it was just a matter of finding the father who would sleep with Sadie and impregnate her with the blessed child. Other Shit Personality The Arch Bishop comes off as easy going, but is a devout Mystian-Denizen. He has a bass, deep voice that women love and is charmingly sophisticated when he wants something. He has incredible reach into the minds of men (and women) and can almost tell what a person is thinking by reading the individual’s body language. Lifestyle In the depressed area of Fale County, the Arch Bishop’s Church is a beacon of hope for many and an obstacle to be removed for others. He is somewhat of a hermit and only leaves the Church on official business. Because of his simple digestive system, he doesn’t eat solid food and can live off of liquids alone. He only sleeps for one hour a day and prefers to rest on an air mattress. It is rumored that he removes his metal mask when he showers. Likes & Dislikes Masked Bastard enjoys reading, writing, web surfing, strength training and horticulture. As a house plant enthusiast, he believes that living organisms provide him with positive psychological health and indoor air purification of his domain. Other hobbies include: playing chess, web design, IT support, sexual intercourse (namely anal penetration with a woman). His fetishes include: big booties, sexy feet, thighs in tights and the female anus. The Truth Like many of the Bishops, Masked Bastard is a closet pervert. He looks to Lady Bishop Sadie, who also serves as his mistress, to quell his most intimate desires. Because Sadie pleases the Arch Bishop, she usually gets special privileges that other Lady Bishops do not. Church Sex Scandel The Arch Bishop became the center of a sex scandal with Lady Sadie after she gave birth to a baby boy that later grew a metal mask on its face. Masked Bastard had been having sexual relations with Sadie for over five years prior to her pregnancy (the encounters only involved anal penetration on Sadie). The scandal was old news to members of the Church, but the hot topic of many blogs and forums for months. After the hype died down, Masked Bastard continued to sag Sadie on a regular basis, both vaginally and anally. Fatherhood Masked Bastard is a caring and loving father to his son, Baruch. He spends every possible free moment of his time with his son and keeps the child active to prevent the boy from getting bored and doing something counter-productive. After Baruch was diagnosed with Autism, the Bastard decided to place his son in a Montessori school for gifted children. He encourages Baruch to be creative and the youth does so by drawing pictures explaining what he sees in his dreams. He allows Baruch to stay in Sadie’s domain until he gets old enough to have his own domain. The Arch Bishop plans to leave everything to Baruch, knowing that one day the boy will grow up and save the Internet as it is foretold in the Book of Bastard. Masked Bastard Gallery Arch-Bishop-MASK-LRG.jpg|The Hallowed Faceplate Arch-Bishop-new.jpg|The Masked your Bastard mb-anonymous.jpg|The Bastard Unmasked mb-saves-med.jpg|The Masked Our Holy Bastard mb-fu-medium.jpg|Because It Must. celestial-family-med.jpg|The Celestial Family bastard-and-baruch.jpg|Father and Son mb-power.jpg|The Power of The Most ---- ---- ---- Category:Bishops of Bastard characters